For starters: appearance is important. Men are attracted to women who care about their physical appearance.

No woman wants to date a guy who looks like a mess and guys feel the same about gals. That means: dress nicely, smell good and develop a style that accentuates your best features. You don’t need to be a super model to attract a good man, but you can’t be looking like a rag doll, neither. I guess you could say it’s common sense, but, you know, take care of yourself and men will find you more desirable. More importantly, if you take good care you’ll feel better about you.

Men also like space, as in, they don’t want to date a clinger. Guys have friends and social lives; they enjoy a night out with the boys watching sports or playing poker. Men yearn for a relationship with a woman who has her own thing going on so that he isn’t obligated to be around his lady 24/7. Relationships eventually grow and become more intimate, but at first, there is no need to overdo it – let the bond between you gradually form into something special. When you eventually live together you’ll have plenty of time to see each other all the time, but if you want to get to that point, allow for personal space while the relationship is new.

And ladies, be wary of the man who wants you around all the time, because that is the sign of a controlling guy. Conversely, give him his space and he’ll come back to you. Men like the chase.

Don’t give it up right away, even if you want to. Make him wait, ladies. He’ll respect you more if he has to work his way into your pants. Whether you think it’s right or wrong: this is about establishing rapport and by holding out on sex for the first bit it allows you and him to form a connection that is based on your collective ability to enjoy each other’s company with clothes on. It’s important to have a non-sexual connection with your partner because your relationship – should it last long enough – will eventually become more dynamic, and sex is only one element of a loving, lasting bond between two soul-mates. May as well find out early if the two of you can connect when you’re not having sex.

In an article by YourTango.com, several men admitted that they are pleasantly surprised when a woman doesn’t have sex with them on the first date. One guy said, “and the harder she was willing to make me work for it, the more attracted to her I was.” Another guy told Your Tango, “It’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t want to give it up all at once. I don’t think it means you’re easy if you want to have sex on the first date or even after the first night, but I’m way more attracted to a woman who knows how rare it is to have something to look forward to.” 

I don’t think it’s wrong to have sex on the first night – I personally wouldn’t judge someone for doing so. Actually, I don’t even believe that by having sex right away you have ruined any chance of forming a lasting relationship with a guy. All that being said, there is something to say for creating anticipation and intrigue in the early stages of courting – making him long for it.

And ladies, don’t ask “how high?” when he says “jump.” I’m not suggesting you should lie to your man or purposely be defiant, but in the early stages of the dating process: if the guy is constantly asking where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing – that’s an obvious sign that he’s insecure and he doesn’t trust you or that he’s trying to control you. Don’t reply back right away; don’t give him all the answers, at first.

This point is really old school and cliche: men love a woman who can cook. There is that saying: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It’s so true. In my personal experiences, a well cooked meal melts a man like marshmallow at a cottage campfire. Don’t think of this as conforming to outdated traditional ideals: people gotta eat, and being able to cook up a great meal is a skill – a lot of guys will return the favour.

Ladies, we are beautiful, and there are so many reasons why men are attracted to us. I hope the advice I’ve given here helps you in your quest for a good man. Now go out and get him; be confident and do the little things that make you more desirable. Being kind and sweet is also a bonus!

I have been date coaching singles for more than a decade, and I can honestly say that most ladies don’t realize how attractive and desirable they are – it’s all there, they just need to believe! And ladies, if you feel like you need someone to help you master your ability to attract the type of man you’re looking for, give me a call and we’ll set up a consultation.